Establishing Boundaries

You are you, and you are not anyone else.

What is okay for me, might not be okay for you. Behaviors that are accepted by one person, may be totally unacceptable to another.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something “wrong” with you. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are not as “good” as you should be.

It also doesn’t mean that people who have different ideas and ways of being are less than you. It doesn’t mean that they are “wrong” either.

But what it does mean is that it is very important for you to know yourself.  

Who are you? What is important to you? What kind of people and situations do you want in your life?

It is very true that sometimes we need to grow. Sometimes we need to consider that our boundaries may be a little too tight.

But then there are times when the boundaries we have set down need to be enforced.

When we are feeling a lot of disturbance, this is a sure sign that our boundaries are being infringed upon.

Do you have good boundaries? Do you know what your boundaries are? Are your boundaries coming from a place of fear? Are your boundaries coming from a place of “good judgement?”

Do your boundaries support your life intentions and goals?

If we have intentions and/or goals, then this can make it a lot easier to establish our boundaries.

You can just ask yourself, “Is this person or situation propelling and supporting me towards my intentions, or are they in the way?”

Nobody else can establish or set your boundaries for you. Nobody else can know you the way that you can. The best I can do is to say, “That doesn’t make any sense to me.” or “That sounds like it makes sense to me.”

But I cannot know when it is time for you to grow or loosen your boundaries or when it is time to hold firm.

You are you, and you are not anyone else.

That is what makes you so AWESOME!!!

Get to know yourself!

kyle_ssi_008Kyle Shiver is a spiritual counselor and inspirational speaker who is available for one on one phone/skype sessions. Call 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us to schedule your appointment. 

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The Heart, and The Facts

Some people will tell you to “follow your heart” no matter where it leads.

Some people will tell you to “stick with the facts” and not make decisions based on feelings.

The truth is that there are times when we need to follow our hearts, AND then there are times when we need to stick with the facts and not act on our feelings.

It seems that the trick is in knowing what time it is.

You may fall head over heels in love with someone who is not a good match for you. Soon there will be conflict galore.

You may want to start your own business only to find, that being self-employed isn’t all it is cracked up to be. Doing what you want to do might not compensate you the way you would like, there may be much more work and time involvement than you imagined, and so there is conflict.

At the same time, you may stick to the facts, only to miss out on things you truly love.

What if you don’t take those chances? What if you don’t try that relationship or starting the business of your dreams?

It is true that “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.” And I say all the time that, “If you want to learn to play the game, then you better get out there on the field!”

You can read about it, think about it, other people can tell you about it, but if you are like I am, you have to see for yourself.

The good news is that if we find ourselves in a spot we don’t want to be in, we can get out of it!

If you are having difficulties, the chances are that you 1) Dove in with your heart without really looking , or 2) Ignored your heart and followed facts, doing things “by the book”.

Personally, I much admire people who get out there on the field, suit up, and play the game. In other words, “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”

It becomes simply a matter of making some minor adjustments. A little less heart and a few more facts, or vice-versa.

Above all, please remember that no matter what it is that might be troubling you, you can change it!

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Kyle Talk from Unity of Myrtle Beach!

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The Great Transitioning

So many people that I know, including myself, are going through lots of change and transition right now.

Transition and change is always a little uncomfortable and sometimes quite painful.

The facts is though, that everything in the Universe is moving all the time. Nothing is sitting still. Everything is in the process of dying and being reborn. Re-birth, re-generating, growing and blossoming.

This is the way of the Universe.

But we go through periods where things seem stable and unchanging and everything is okay. Perhaps a long period of routine that doesn’t change. And when things do start to change, or when there is a sudden shift, this can often rattle us.

Here are a few things to contemplate, that are very helpful to me during times like this;

- Remember that “This too shall pass.” However things are right now is not how things are always going to be. Personally, I try to remember that my daughter is not always going to be seven years old, we might not always live here in Savannah, …. things like that help me to remember to enjoy the moment.

- Remember that the Universe is working for you! It sure doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but the Truth is that the Universe is there for you. You may be someone who relies on the idea that “God loves me” or you may be more in tune with abiding by Universal Laws, but either way, the Universe is not against you! Either God loves you and is trying to get to you, or the Universal Laws are totally impartial and there for us to use. However things resonate with you, either of these ideas pits you against the Universe or God.

- Ask yourself the question, “What is trying to happen here?” This is a great tool to use and I use it very often. The idea being that if we can see what is trying to happen, if we can see which way the flow is going, then we can go with it, instead of against it.

An Affirmative prayer for us; I know that all things that are right now in this moment will pass. I will see the beauty that is ME and that is around me today and I will experience it fully. I know that the Universe/God/Creation is not against me. I know that the Universe/God/Creation wants me to have what I want. I release all pressure and stress and feelings of trying, desperation, and fear, because I KNOW that the Universe/God/Creation is working in my favor. All is in Perfect Absolute Divine Order.
And so it is. Amen. 

kyle_ssi_006Kyle Shiver is visionary and Spiritual Leader of Tybee Spirit. He is available for spiritual counseling and inspirational speaking. Call 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us 

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Spiritual Beings Having A Human Experience

We had our second Tybee Spirit service last night, and the topic was on our second principal; “We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.”

It sounds really awesome, but what does it mean?

Here is a recording of the talk, and I hope you enjoy it!

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Saying Goodbye

LossOn new years day, the news came that our dear family friend Katie Pynn had suddenly and very unexpectedly passed away.

She was only in her early thirties.

Katie and her husband Keith, along with their two children, have been an internal part of our lives for about seven years now. Our daughters were born within a week of each other.

They came over for dinner on a regular basis, we had birthday parties, Halloween parties, and they became renowned for their annual Christmas party.

Everybody loved Katie.

She had lost her parents earlier in life, and I always thought that it was for this reason that she saw life and all of us so deeply.

She decided to rise from her adversity, have a family and children, and enjoy life to the fullest every moment.

She was the one who tied balloons on your mailbox on your birthday.

She was the one who knew you better and on a deeper level than anyone else did.

Knowing that I didn’t drink, she would always make sure to have a pot of coffee when we went over there.

She had insisted on coming over to our house and moving Heather’s car around in the driveway every day while we were away for the holidays. “I’m not gonna take care of your animals but I will move the car around to make it look like somebody is home.” she said.

Katie and Heather

Katie and Heather

 

When we arrived home from our trip, the car was sitting directly in the center of the driveway, where Katie had parked it.

Keith, Holland, Katie, and Alice Beth Pynn.

Keith, Holland, Katie, and Alice Beth Pynn.

Needless to say, a lot of us have been walking around in a daze all month.

I cry a little bit at a time every day. Heather has been crying herself to sleep every night and asked me last night, “When will I stop crying?”

And then she said, “I just want her to come back!”

This is a hard one.

It hurts a lot and in the deepest of places.

We know that Katie would never have agreed to leave her children. This would be her worst nightmare.

Personally, I do not remember deciding to come to earth. For me, it was as if I just woke up here in this body. I slowly came into consciousness.

So why should we think that we have any say about when and how we leave here?

And being okay with that reality is not the easiest thing to do.

But that is the reality, and that is what Katie’s passing has brought to the table for all of us.

Nevertheless, I do not feel as if the world is cruel and random. That never felt right to me. After all, we are on a large rock, we are surrounded by gravitational force that is just perfect, the rock is rotating around the sun while spinning at a whopping 66,000 miles an hour.

So what I have told my wife and will continue to tell her, as well as myself, is “Ask yourself what you can learn from Katie.” “Ask yourself how you can take your experiences with her and rise up and be a better person.” “Ask yourself how can we be to other people, what she was to us.”

The Reverend Dale Worley told me the other night that, “Some people just shut down and go away, and others just rise up and get stronger.”

And he is exactly right.

In the past couple of weeks, I have wanted to shut down and just go away and quit everything.

But I am not going to. I am not going backwards. My wife and I will keep going onward together, along with all those who love us and who loved Katie so dearly.

I will continue to spread the message that though we don’t always understand it, and sometimes it really hurts, all things in the Universe are in Divine Order. The Universe IS Divine Order.

Nothing is ever going to be the same again. Things have changed. We are going to change.

Let our lights shine a little brighter. Let us shine a little brighter onto those around us.

Things ain’t gonna be the same, that is for sure.

Because we knew Katie, our lives are going to be better. In this way, she will always be with us.

Katie Pynn

Katie Pynn

 

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Preserverance

Russell Wilson

Russell Wilson

With approximately four minutes to go in the game, the quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks threw his fourth interception of the game.

There had been no sign of offense for Seattle at all. The seven points they had scored had come from special teams, when they successfully faked a field goal attempt.

The Green Bay Packers had shut them down completely.

I texted my friend Donna, who is a Green Bay Packers FANATIC and asked her, “Where are we going to watch the Super Bowl?”

Then I went to the other side of the house and told my wife, “The game is over, and my team won and we are going to the Super Bowl!”

I could have easily had already turned the t.v. off, but I’d let it stay on.

Upon returning to the living room it seemed that Seattle had somehow scored. They were lining up to make on onside kick.

Which landed directly onto a Green Bay Packer, who dropped it into the hands of a Seahawk.

Now I screamed.

Seattle scored again and went ahead by three points.

The Packers had a minute and a half left, and they went down the field and out comes the field goal kicker, who had already kicked four field goals.

I couldn’t watch.

Heather said, “I thought you said the game was over?”

Most people know by now that Seattle won the game in overtime. It was one of the greatest NFL games ever.

The reason why I’ve made the game my topic today is because, of course, I am a football fanatic myself.

But what we saw yesterday, what made this particular game one of the greatest all time games, was a thing called “Perseverance.”

It isn’t often that we get to see someone standing in the face of so much adversity just stand up and say, “Well you have beat me down for 95% of the day, but we still have a couple of minutes left here.”

Russell Wilson and the Seahawks proved that it does not matter what happened ten minutes ago.

It doesn’t matter what happened for most of the game, or for most of your life.

The past is just that; the past.

When he threw that fourth interception, most teams would have conceded. “Nothing has gone right all day, and now this is the cherry on top.”

What kind of person can just completely erase the past from his mind and be here right now?

How often do we bring our past into our present?

How often do we think that just because it has been this way for a long time, or just because every time we have tried in the past we have failed, that things have to stay the same? Or that it is going to fail again this time?

True, we are supposed to learn from our past mistakes.

True, sometimes I fix a mistake only to find another mistake to make.

I am sure that Green Bay fans everywhere were celebrating the win, just as I was. There is no doubt that many television sets were turned off shortly after Wilsons fourth interception.

The announcers were wrapping it up and as far as everyone was concerned, it was over.

Is it over for me?

Is it over for you?

The message today is that whatever mistakes or bad decision we’ve made in the past, no matter what we have done that we may feel bad about, no matter about anything… that was “then.”

And this is “Now.”

(Just for the record, I was pulling for the Green Bay Packers)

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My Resolution for 2015

OSHO relolutionIt might be a strange idea, but can we consider that we are perfect just like we are?

I probably should cut back on my coffee drinking, could be a lot more adamant about exercise and working out, and I could probably be “better” at most things, but at what point do we say, “ENOUGH!”

At what point do we stop focusing on what we don’t do well enough?

How about being happy right now? How about loving ourselves right now, just the way we are right now?

Is there really such a need to push and force ourselves to do things that we really don’t want to do?

You are better off if you can just “be real.”

Sounds too easy doesn’t it?

So I will ask you the same question that I posed to those who were at our first service of Tybee Spirit; “If you tell me that God made you, then how can you think that there is something wrong with you???”

Go ahead and make your mental list. Of course I know that there are many many things wrong with you. There are many things that you should have that you don’t have. I know that you should be better than you are.

I’ve been conditioned by the same society that you have.

And it is all rubbish!!! We’ve been had.

Sitting here on this new years eve, I resolve to have no resolutions. I am just going to be happy and enjoy myself just like I am.

Take my word for it, just a few moments of everything being okay will be plenty to turn you from thinking that “everything needs improvement.”

It is all perfect.

Happy New Year from my family to yours!

 

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The “Maiden Voyage”

Tybee Spirit held our first service on Wednesday of this week, and it left me speechless.

I am a changed man.

Everything is different now though, even if I’m not sure how to explain it.

We will have video and audio available some time in the coming weeks and will be sure to post and let you know.

There were many people who played a role, and to each of you, THANK YOU!!!

We had so much fun and so much celebration and there was so much SPIRIT in the house, that it was hard to believe.

But I saw it with my own eyes and felt it with my own heart.

We will be having our next service on Wednesday January 28th, once again at 6:30 at the Ocean Plaza on Tybee. I will be speaking, and will once again be joined by Reverend Dale Worley from Unity of Savannah, who will bless us with his amazing music. (and yes we will play more music together).

So mark those calendars and plan on joining us!

Many blessings!

Kyle

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Tybee Spirit First Service!

If you are in our area, please come and celebrate with Tybee Spirit at our first service!

Wednesday December 17th
6:30 p.m. Service followed by snacks and refreshments
Ocean Plaza Conference Center on Tybee

We have the service planned out and it is going to be a wonderful evening. We are pleased to announce that the Reverend Dale Worley from Unity of Savannah will be playing music for us!

We will have a candle lighting ceremony, to honor all the major religions of the world, a meditation, and then I will give a talk on “Oneness Consciousness”.

Tybee Spirit SMALLThis is going to be an amazing night and we hope you will join us!

 

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