Letting It All Out (part 3)

Secrets are how we keep ourselves separate from other people. Secrets set us apart. The secrets that I keep are what make me more terrible than anyone else. My secret is so bad, so terrible, that I am convinced that I cannot tell another human being.

I am “different” and I am “bad”.

“This is going to the grave with me” we say.

Seems to me it is going to take you to your grave sooner than need be, because your secrets are poison. Yet we hang on to them as if they are gold. As if they are more precious than anything.

I know that in many cases we men are told that we need to be tough. We are all told “you shouldn’t feel that way”. We feel sometimes that we shouldn’t be bothered by the things that bother us. Maybe we think that we should be stronger than we are.

But secrets are sneaky.

They have this very subtle way of not only making us “different” than others, but they can become our excuse or our crutch. An example of that would be someone thinking, “I am an alcoholic because I was sexually abused as a child.” We are simply not aware of the ramifications of saying things like this.

If this were true, then to deal with your being abused as a child would mean that you couldn’t be an alcoholic anymore.


So not only do we hang on to our isolated separateness, we hang on because our secrets and our excuses are the only way we know to justify ourselves. This is all that we know. It is all that we have known. So to touch it, or to be honest with someone, would threaten us in a big way.

How would you justify your alcoholism(or whatever your problem may be) if you gave up your excuse?

But what if we take this thought process just a little bit further. What if we consider dealing with those secrets or those bad things that have happened to us? What if we consider that there might be a way to possibly process that stuff, and heal from that stuff, and then turn our negative response(the trouble in our lives) into a positive response?

What if?

You can get sober. You can lose the weight. You can make more money and make a better life for yourself. You can learn how to have more healthy relationships. And I can tell you that all of these things are possible because it is possible for you to do the inner work.

All the work is done on the inside.

I hope that each of us has at least one person in the world who know’s everything. You sure don’t need to go posting all your deepest darkest secrets on Facebook, and you sure don’t need to tell everyone in the world about it. (though sometimes people do that in order to help other’s who have had the same or similar experiences and this is a positive response for these people)

But just to start, I am going to invite you to choose a person that you can trust. It could be a friend, or it could be a minister or a priest, or a counselor. It can even be someone that you don’t know and that you’ll never see again.

But get it out!

Kyle Shiver INHA

Kyle Shiver INHA

Kyle Shiver is an inspirational speaker and spiritual counselor currently living in Savannah Georgia. To schedule your phone, Skype, or in-office visit, call 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

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An Imaginary Conversation with Eckhart Tolle’

dff771a88da0299a79e4d110.L._V192546980_SX200_(Dear reader, this is an imaginary conversation with Eckhart Tolle. Just for the record, he doesn’t like coffee because he says it makes him jumpy)

Kyle- Mr. Tolle thank you so much for joining me today. I’ve read your books and am a big fan of yours

Eckhart- Well thank you Kyle… for having this… imaginary conversation with me. It’s quite flattering.

Kyle- Your books and your ideas are not new, but the way you present information is really helping a lot of people and you have become very famous. How does that feel?

Eckhart- I just feel like me. There is nothing else that I know really, except for me.

Kyle- One of your sayings that I quote a lot is when you talk about, “If being enlightened is something that you are going to do, something that you are going to achieve at some point in the future, then you’ve already missed it.” I think this is the most difficult concept for me and I know for many others. I mean, what do we do? We don’t feel “enlightened”, so we continue to seek it. And then, you say that we are missing it.

Eckhart- But you are already enlightened and everything is already perfect. It is inside of you and all you have to do is wake up!

Kyle- But this idea that I don’t have to do anything is sometimes over my head. Sometimes I get it, but then I find myself back to “trying” again. I can’t just sit in meditation all the time doing nothing.

Eckhart- Of course not, you wouldn’t want to sit permanently in meditation… Let’s say that you wake up in the morning and you brush your teeth. That is a good idea. Perhaps while on your way to work, or in your case Kyle, while having your morning coffee in your garage office, someone just comes strongly into your mind. You should call them and let them know! Then someone will contact you. Things will happen. Your wife will want to know what you are doing and if you can pick up Lily from school. There are responsibilities that you have, such as cutting the grass, writing your blog, and by the way, judging by the looks of your calendar over there, you need to book some October gigs for your band. You do what there is for you to do, but you can do these things and stay in the moment.

Kyle- So to my readers, I need to let them know that they are enlightened right now. That all the answers are inside of them. That they are perfect.

Eckhart- Yes! It isn’t anywhere else. There is nothing that is anywhere else. The idea is to be awake right now in this moment. And when you are awake in this moment, you are very much experiencing enlightenment.

Kyle- You know Mr. Tolle, I think that we all have this idea of an enlightened person being someone like “Jesus” or one of the famous guru’s, or someone like you.

Eckhart- Well Kyle, you are someone just like Jesus was, or just like any of the famous guru’s, and you are someone just like I am, aren’t you?

Kyle- Yes. Yes I see your point, though I admit that I still have the tendency to see other people as separate or different, and even better than me.

Eckhart- But you know better! You know that we aren’t separate in any real way. That is only an illusion.

Kyle- It feels really good to be here now with you Mr. Tolle, and to be enlightened with you in this moment. Thank you again for your time.

Eckhart- Time? Oh, we will leave that discussion for… another time.

at Kanuga 2013

at Kanuga 2013

Kyle Shiver is a spiritual healer and inspirational speaker currently living in Savannah Georgia. To schedule a phone, Skype, or in-office visit with Kyle, please call 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

If you haven’t read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle’… now would be a good time!

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Growing Pains

Let’s face it, growing is uncomfortable. I guess that is where the old idea of “growing pains” comes from.

But we all want to grow.

We want to make more money, have better relationships, accomplish our goals and intentions, and just generally get better at certain aspects of our lives. And this is the way it is supposed to be I am sure.

Seeing how other people aren’t going to change, money isn’t going to change, our goals and intentions are all there just waiting, and those “certain aspects” of our lives probably aren’t going to change themselves, it is going to be all up to us.

The bottom line is that if I want my life to be different, then I have to do different things. I have to place myself around different people. I have to be willing to put my own idea’s aside, understanding that they aren’t working anyway. It is me who has to change and adapt to the Universe, not the other way around.

And a person can tell you all about swimming and describe the experience of it to you all day long. But when you actually want to swim, this will require you getting in the water and having the experience for yourself.

When I get to feeling really uncomfortable, this is when I know that things are good. This is when I see how I can sometimes act out. This is when I see that I get anxious and nervous and stressed out.

This is when I have the opportunity to grow.

IMG_2569Kyle Shiver is an inspirational speaker and spiritual healer currently living in Savannah Georgia. To schedule a phone, Skype, or in-office appointment, call 912049508520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

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A Day In the Life

A few nights ago, I put on one of my beautiful white linen shirts and went to Tybee Island, where Micheal Elliott and I had called a meeting.

“This meeting will be to discuss the possibility of starting a spiritual center on Tybee”, read the description on the Facebook event I had created. Judging from the number of people who said they would attend, and the feedback I had gotten, it appeared that we would have a good crowd of interested people show up, and we did.

Earlier in the day my wife had asked me, “What should I do? Should I come?” and I told her that, “It would be nice if you were there, but I’d like for you to do what you feel led to do.” I did want her to be there, but only if she wanted to be there.

That day, Micheal and I had a long telephone pow wow, in which we went over the general game plan for the evening. It had been a month or so since I had approached Micheal and told him what I was thinking, and then said, “I want you to do this with me”.

Our pre-meeting pow wow  was good, and it was “all systems go”.

Julia Foster, who is still grieving the loss of her beloved long-time partner Ronnie, had agreed to let us have the meeting at her house. After all, it had been Julia who instigated this whole thing. (but that is another story) Her back yard is paved, there are tables and chairs everywhere, it is basically like a wonderful outdoor restaurant/party place.

And true to Tybee Island, our 6:30 p.m. meeting began right around 7 on the dot.

There were approximately 25 people in attendance. It was a good crowd of some I didn’t know, some familiar faces, some of my dearest Spirits, there was Micheal and Sarah, and sure enough, my wife came and brought Lily Belle with her.

I smiled.

Then I activated the success of the evening with affirmative prayer. Then welcomed everyone and thanked everyone for coming, and explained that we were there to talk about the possibility of opening a spiritual center on Tybee, and said, “I want to be your spiritual leader.”

With that statement I officially moved into my next phase of personal growth and healing.

I won’t start naming names because I don’t want to leave anyone out, but will say that we had some great questions. Micheal answered questions about our involvement or affiliation with Tybee Church and explained that he and I want to start something brand new. Then I gave a general overview of our vision of the center/church and answered questions concerning that.

Then suddenly someone said, “Well let’s hear from the other half!” and all eyes descended upon my lovely bride, who incidentally is easily the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known.

“Me?” she exclaimed.

After it was made clear that the crowd wanted to hear from her, she commenced to saying the nicest things about me that anyone has ever said. And nobody knows me like Heather does. I won’t try to quote her, but she basically said that I am the kind of person who has to do something that he cares about and that means something to him. She admitted that she hadn’t seen this coming, but that I seem to be really good at helping people. She said that I am a great spiritual leader.

There were a few more questions for me to answer after that, and then we all held hands and I “prayed us out”.

Micheal said to me, “I would say that the meeting was a success and it couldn’t have gone any better”.

And I am grateful.

We’ll be having our second meeting on Monday September 22nd at 119 Lewis Avenue on Tybee, and YOU are welcome to attend! The meeting starts at 6:30 p.m. If you’d like to learn more about my partner Micheal Elliott, please visit HERE

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Letting It All Out (part 2)

Your life is kind of like the dashboard in your car.

You might have a door ajar, or you might need to check oil now. Or when that little yellow light starts flashing, you’ve got about twenty miles worth of gasoline left. Some of the newer models will even tell you that one of your tires needs some air.

We can ignore all these signals if we want to, but what is going to happen?

I ignored all the signals. I had another drink, another toke, did another line, found another girlfriend, and told myself underneath my breath, “Everything is cool man, you can handle this”.

The signals got bigger. The lights were flashing, strange sounds were occurring, and then I found myself stranded. I had it in drive, I was accelerating, and finally I heard the engine chug a few times, saw the smoke coming out of the tail-pipe, and… that was it.

I was going nowhere.

So I opened up the door and got out, only to find that I was sitting in a group therapy session. I had been hospitalized. I was surrounded by a bunch of other losers who had all driven their cars to the final death too. Then there was the guy in the white shirt and tie who was smiling at me.

He was happy and I hated him for it.

“I just don’t get all this God shit” I said, to which he leaned forward and smiled and exclaimed, “Who do you think you are boy?”

It would have been really great to have our following interaction on video, but there is no video or even dictation of it. All I can say is that I unzipped the bag and threw it all out there on the table. I told this guy what I thought about everything, and how I was feeling about everything, and for the first time in my life I just said it all.

All the things I wasn’t supposed to say. All the things I wasn’t supposed to feel. All the things I wasn’t supposed to think. All the things I wasn’t supposed to be, that I was. All the things that made no sense to me. All the things and people I hated. I just threw it all out all over the place.

Something started dying, and something started being born.

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Hanging With A Swami

Kyle with Swami Kenananda

Kyle with Swami Kenananda

“There has been a change in plans, and Swami wants to know if they can come today instead of tomorrow.” I heard her say through my iPhone. “Her” is Christine, who does all of the booking and scheduling for my brother Swami Kenananda. (Swami Ken for short).

“No” I heard myself say into the phone. “I am not prepared for that unless it is a dire emergency, we gotta stick to the plan of Swami arriving tomorrow.”

A part of me was afraid that this would offend Christine or Swami, but Christine wasn’t put off at all, and did not need or want to hear my excuses or reasons why. She just moved to the next item on the agenda, which was, “Well, I don’t really know what time Swami will arrive tomorrow, but he will be there in time for the program.”

It has taken some time for me to get used to dealing with people who aren’t sensitive, who don’t get pissed off, or who aren’t easily offended. I never realized how much of my life was spent around being sensitive to other people’s sensitivity’s.

Swami’s just roll with it, whatever it may be. And they are happy.

So this means that when you open your house to a Swami, you need to be prepared to just roll with it and be happy too.

My boundaries were respected and Swami and his entourage spent the night elsewhere and arrived at our house the next day according to the plan; before the program. There were two people with him, which I expected because that was the case last year when he came to stay with us. This time Swami had another Swami with him named Swami Bramananda, and there was another fellow named Eric.

Everything was fine as we got them settled in, but as we prepared to go to the meditation program Swami was going to present, they informed me that we had “one more coming” that would meet up with us at the program.

Sure enough at the program I was introduced to Isham, who would also be staying with us. Isham wasted no time in saying that the next day, we would be joined by yet “another one”. Sure enough, the next day while I was here typing in the garage, up walked Asha with her rolling suitcase and beautiful smile.

Now people often insinuate or flat out say, that I am a “hippy”. I’ve got long hair, I’m easy going and laid back and all, and everyone know’s I don’t live the traditional sort of life. I don’t do the traditional nine to five thing, but instead, make a living off of music and art, and now spiritual counseling. Basically I trust in the Universe, and have been this way for many years. So in some ways I’m not your typical guy.Swami and Isham

BUT… then again, I’m a white guy who has a house and a wife and a kid and two turtles and two hamsters and a cat and a dog, and we live in the suburbs. Also, I am an only child and am totally okay when nobody else is around.

I heard myself say to Swami Ken, “We’ll just have to see how my wife reacts to all this.”

That is when the little voice spoke up and said, “Hey wait a minute Kyle. Your wife and her friend Lizzie are always talking about moving into a more communal situation. Your wife has two sisters and your daughter is always inviting everyone she meets to, “Come to my house!?!?” Then the voice said, “Hey Kyle, maybe you are the one we need to worry about here. Maybe you are the one who is not so sure about all this. And maybe you might not want to use your wife as an excuse?”

I walked inside to survey the scene and found Swami Ken at the table eating honey. (Swami likes honey and collects it wherever he goes) Eric was on his laptop, Isham was washing dishes, the other Swami was sitting on the sofa working his cell phone, and Asha(the latest addition) was already teaching Lily(my daughter) some new dance moves in the living room.

I peered into my wife’s office where she sat editing pictures.

Then I walked back out in to the garage and Swami Ken followed me out. “We can all go if you are uncomfortable Kyle, and it is no problem.” he said to me in his loving Swami way. I told him, “I am uncomfortable, but I don’t want you to go. I think I need to do this.” Swami smiled and went back inside.

There was nothing wrong. I felt like something was wrong because I felt a bit out of control. But when I looked around me, everything was beautiful. So I picked up my boundary lines, and I moved them out a little further.

As a result I got to spend some time with some very beautiful Spirits who were very intelligent, and very good thinkers. I got to have some really in-depth sharing and conversation about spirituality, which is my favorite subject. I also got to participate in a Hindu ceremony in honor of Ganesh(everyone knows I love elephants) where Swami would say a mantra that I did not understand while we rotated coconuts around clockwise three times and then busted them on the street.

One day Swami Ken and I were alone, driving out to Tybee. We were talking about the Universe and duality and things like that, when he looked directly at me and said, “Kyle, you don’t have to worry about what other people think any more.” And I said, “Yes Swami.”

It was an amazing few days, and it was easier having them here than not, because they were very adamant about cleaning up after themselves, cooking, etc…

When they left, they left no trace except for a lot of smiles.
Kyle with the Swami gang


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What Am I Convinced Of?

believe its easyThe last time I fell into some really dark places, i finally came to a place to where I was absolutely sure that the problem was me.

Thank goodness, because even though I supposedly knew better, I had still fallen prey to “the blame game”. I had still fallen into negativity and depression and complaining. It was true that my master life plan hadn’t gone exactly the way I wanted it to, but… enough is enough.

I got sick of myself.

What I became aware of was that things weren’t really so bad. It wasn’t like the earth had cracked into pieces, or I was suffering with terminal cancer or anything. But I had convinced myself that things were very bad, nothing was going my way, and that life was very difficult. I had become unhappy with everything.

But even though I felt unhappy with everything, it didn’t make any sense to me, because I have everything for God’s sake. A beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter, at the time we had a hound dog named Miss Clara Belle,… we had cars and we were working, and… one day I just realized that I was angry because this was not what I had wanted. I had wanted to be very rich and very successful in the music industry and I had not gotten that.

So I got pissed and acted like a baby.

The only thing you can really do when you realize that you’re acting like a baby, is stop. And the way I stopped was mostly by changing my language. In other words, I had to stop talking negatively and start talking positively. Even though I didn’t really feel so positive.

I caught myself one day when someone asked me to lunch, saying, “No I can’t because I have to go get my daughter from the Y.” and I changed it right there on the spot to, “Thanks for asking but I get to go pick up my little girl and play in the playground with her today!”

And this is exactly the process that I used to convince myself that I live in Heaven and that I’ve got it made. I did it by changing my language, and it was so interesting to me, because most often(though not all the time) my feelings would follow my words. I noticed if I negatively said “I’ve got to go pick up my daughter or cut the grass, or go to work” then I would feel negatively about it. I noticed that if I changed my words to “I get to pick up my beautiful kid, or mow my beautiful lawn, or go play music and get payed for it”, then suddenly I felt pretty good.

Pay attention to the words that you say, because they are very important. Your feelings will follow your words. And if you convince yourself that things are hard and life is tough and all that, then it will be.

Why not convince yourself that life is good and easy and that you’ve got it made? I mean, really… have you been to Haiti lately? Whoever you are if you are reading this, I know you’ve got it made.

I can only hope that you know it too.

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Let’s Enjoy This

I get nervous, but I don’t let it stop me.

And things keep getting bigger. It is as if the Universe says, “Well if you can handle that, then here is something bigger!” In the past I always looked at it from a very interesting angle.

I moved with the idea that the Universe was against me.

So when I would overcome something I would think, “Great, now what kind of challenge is coming?” I don’t like being nervous. I don’t like feeling challenged or intimidated. It would be greatly uncomfortable and I would not want any more.

That lasted until the day someone confronted me with, “Why would you be nervous when this is what you wanted?” And this was a good question, because they were right. I’d worked pretty hard to get there and now I was going to let nervousness ruin it. I was going to not enjoy the glory.

I was sending very mixed messages to the Universe, who had no idea what to do with me.

I’d be lying if I told you that I’ve figured out how to not get nervous. But what I have figured out how to do, is to take a deep breath. I remind myself that “This is good!”, and “This is what I wanted!” and I affirm that, “I will not let nervousness or fear keep me from this!”

None of the things I get nervous or afraid of are real anyway. They are all, “What if’s” and they just aren’t real. “What if I’m not over the top amazing?” “What if someone gets involved and messes things up?” “What if things don’t go the way I want them too?”

Nothing that anyone else thinks, says, or does, has anything to do with it!!! 

Can I say that again?

Nothing that anyone else thinks, says, or does, has anything to do with it!!! 

What matters is that I be the Christ that I am. What matters is that I be the Buddha that I am. What matters is that I know that God is all around me and through me, and that I let God flow through me.

So when I do get nervous, I just tell my nervousness and fear that, “I know you aren’t real and you may as well go away, because I am doing this!” And at some point it does go away, and at some point I find myself not only doing whatever it may be, but really doing it. I really get to fully be present in the moment and enjoy it.

I’m about to go and do just that right now! And this is what I wanted, so check it out, the Universe is working for me!

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Letting It All Out (part one)

Plato said that Socrate’s said that, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

But how many of us live with secrets that we plan on taking to the grave? How many of us live with things that we aren’t willing to talk about with anybody? How many of us are living with things that we have just “pushed to the side” or “compartmentalized” away somewhere in the corridor’s of our mind?

Scientists and doctors describe one aspect of the brain as being a recording device. Everything that the senses send to the brain stays. So they tell us that if we could use all of the information in our brain, we could remember the ride home from the hospital when we were newly born.

Everything we have ever seen, heard, smelled, touched, felt, and all the things we have sensed in any way, the entire experience is recorded and stored within us. Even the things that happened before we can remember. And it is important for me to point this out, because this creates the fact that

We are carrying around things that we don’t know about!

Coupled with the things that we do know about.

So there appears before us a doorway. We look through and see the life we want, but it is over there. The things we want are on the other side. We wish for happiness, success, we wish for money, we wish for all kinds of things like bigger houses and our dream cars and vacations.

We wish for love.

But we are not going to find love somewhere else. I know people who have all the material things imaginable, but they aren’t satisfied or happy. The late Robin Williams comes to mind, and I wonder, “How in the world can someone who is loved so much by so many, and who has money and material things to the extent that most of us cannot imagine, hang himself in a closet?”

I’ll never forget the day I was talking to Joel Solomon on the phone. Joel used to own a place called “Cafe Loco” out on Tybee Island and I was a regular weekly performer there for years, and also did the music booking there for quite some time. But now I was having trouble. I was “off in the bushes” so to speak, and had been calling out of gigs and I had been drunk for about three years and things were going downhill fast.

“Georgia Kyle, everybody loves you!” he said to me through the phone, causing me to sob even more uncontrollably.

I’m not sure if I said it out loud to him or not, but I know that I thought it very clearly and very plainly; “But I don’t and I don’t know why”.

You can have everything imaginable in the world, and everyone in the world can love you, but the one thing we have got to figure out is, “How to love ourselves”.

And that is what this series of blogs is going to focus on. Why don’t you love yourself? What is so bad about you? What do you think that you have done that cannot be forgiven? What has been done to you that you cannot forgive?

You will feel much better after you get it all out. I promise.

kyle_ssi_008Kyle Shiver is a spiritual healer and inspirational speaker. Make your appointment with Kyle by calling 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

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Reflections After Twenty Years

This is a most special year for me.

Though I don’t know the exact date, it was around this time of year in 1994, that I had my self-realization”. It happened before Thanksgiving, and most likely in early to mid November of that year. If it feels to you like I write about it too much or mention it to frequently, then please understand that this moment of self-realization was the moment that I was reborn.

So many things shifted within me in a single instant that it would take a lifetime to write them all down, and words wouldn’t really describe it anyway. As OSHO said, “My words are fingers pointing to the moon.”

But he followed that up with, “Do not worship my fingers!”

Back in 1994 in my little room I was renting, I knew that I knew. And I knew that if it was, then it was. I knew that I was Good and that God had made me just the way I AM. So I knew that God had also “prepared the Way” for me. I did not know the way, but I knew it was there, and I knew which direction to move in.

I continued with my job in retail, working during the day and playing music at night, until June of 1995(the 18th to be exact), when I hopped on a Value Jet to Boston. Then while in Boston I worked in a cafe and played at night and on my days off. Later I had to actually take job that didn’t allow for me to play music for a year and a half. But it payed me the money that would allow me to propel myself to where I wanted to go.

It all worked out so beautifully that I’ll have to write it down one day.

In the beginning of 1998 I stepped out, and I’ve been out ever since. Some people call it “working for God”. Some people just say, “self-employed”. Still other times it is referred to as, “Living your dreams” or “Being your authentic self”.

Looking back I sometimes want to think that I did everything wrong, but that is far from the truth. No one is more authentic than I have been. I listen to the songs I wrote and the cd’s I recorded over the years and the authenticity is plain to see and hear. It is true that I have had to ask for financial help a time or two, but it is also true that this money was just a small amount compared to the whole.

Most every penny that has come into my hands since 1998 has been from playing music. Later on I began selling my art. Then I began playing music in church, leading meditation workshops, and then speaking in church’s. Simultaneously I began my spiritual healing/counsel practice. I work hard. In fact, my life is my work.

Here in my twentieth year, it feels like I’m just getting started!

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