A Little Respect

Good communication with someone that you don’t respect, or that doesn’t respect you, is pretty much impossible.

It is my practice to try to see God in everyone, but sometimes there are challenges. We all have challenges with this, so there is no reason to feel all alone.

But when I don’t respect someone, no matter who it is, I am the one in the wrong.  Disrespect is a sign that I’ve got something to protect. Someone has hit one of my sensitive spots, and it is my sensitivity, not the other persons.

It is the same with anyone who is being disrespectful. They are doing the same thing that I do; trying to protect a sore spot.

My favorite line in the Prayer of Saint Francis is “Let me seek to understand, rather than to be understood.” 

When I began to attempt to listen and to understand other people, instead of just being immediately angry or self-righteous, this is when my relationships began to change tremendously.

People could see that I had laid down my guns and that I was genuinely attempting to understand what they were saying.

More often than not, these became very good experiences. When they saw that I wasn’t attacking or protecting, they would feel safe to just talk.

One thing is for sure and that is you cannot make someone respect you. We know that already.

So quit trying. Be willing to be the first to give respect.

And amazing things will happen in your life.

IMG_3335Spiritual counsel with Kyle is just a phone call away! 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us to schedule your phone/Skype session today! 

Posted in SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

How Do You Talk With Someone You Disagree With?

The biggest thing to know about not arguing, but actually talking to someone you disagree with is that if you don’t respect them…

you are probably still arguing.

Typically it isn’t matter of intelligence, it is a matter of logic and reasoning. So if we can just decide that the person we are attempting to talk to has a reason for their behavior or for their opinion, we can then try to figure out what that reason is.

Ask questions.

Lots of times when I ask people questions, they will get a funny look in their eyes as they see that perhaps their reasoning doesn’t make sense.

And sometimes it’s me and my reasoning that doesn’t make sense.

When a person sees in a non-threatening way that their reasoning doesn’t make sense, they have to re-evaluate things. It might take a minute, because let’s remember that we are talking about actual physical neurons in the brain.

We are talking about neural pathways that may have been created and well-traveled for decades until now. A new thought has emerged, a new idea has been introduced. Or at the very least, the person sees that their reasoning is poor and illogical.

So now, what is reasonable? If my reasoning doesn’t make any sense, then what does?

Sometimes, depending on the situation, I share my reasoning or the way I see things. But I always make it clear that, “This is just my reasoning and the way I see things.” I reserve the right to be wrong.

There are those times when even two open-minded people just cannot land on the same page. And this is okay. This has been an opportunity for you both to express and evaluate your reasoning.

When two people disagree, but still respect each other, a compromise can always be found and agreed upon.

What happens when one doesn’t respect the other? That’ll have to wait until the next blog.

IMG_3510If you need help making positive change in your life, call and schedule your appointment with Kyle today! 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

Posted in SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The “Highest Good” Already IS

Years ago while studying scriptures, there was a sentence that just kept standing out to me. John the Baptist had been said to have made the statement, and then Jesus himself said it too;

“Behold! The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!”

After a few days of contemplation, it became clear to me that I was already in Heaven, but that I couldn’t see it.

Buddha, Yogananda, OSHO, and Eckhart Tolle all said pretty much the same thing. One of my favorite quotes by Eckhart Tolle is when he says,

“If enlightenment is something that you are working towards, or that you are going to achieve, … then you’ve already missed it.”

All the way-showers say that it is right here.

It was pointed out to me that during the time that Jesus walked the earth, all the things and elements necessary to make airplanes were already in existence. So were all the things to needed to create electricity.

But people didn’t know all that yet. They hadn’t seen that yet.

But as man evolved, they began to see that if you took this element and combined it with that element, and then heated it to a certain degree…

You get the idea.

It took Mr. Edison over twenty years to get his lightbulb to work. Along the way he created the vacuum pack procedure(which is widely used today), did a lot to enhance the art of glass blowing, and God only knows what all else he created and invented while assembling the lightbulb.

He never for a second doubted his idea or the possibility of the light bulb. To him it was only a matter of finding the right combination of elements.

He knew all along, that the lightbulb already was.

This week in my studies and practice, I’ve been led right back here to this same mantra. This very same idea that “Behold! The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!”

The conditions that I want to create for myself and my family, for the people around me, and for the world, they are already here and all around me now. They are “at hand”.

And the very same is true for you and for everyone else.

You couldn’t see it in your mind if there wasn’t a way for it to become reality.

Because it already is!

IMG_2569Spiritual counseling with Kyle is just a phone call away! Call 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us to schedule your phone or Skype session today! 

 

 

Posted in SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Nobody Wins an Argument

peteOne day the desire to argue just vanished from me. Perhaps it was the realization that you can’t actually win an argument that did it.

A friend of mine used to be a police officer and he says, “I can hold you at gun point and you will say whatever I tell you to say, but as soon as I lower my weapon, you’re back to your old self.”

That really hit home with me.

Because basically an argument is two people who have low self-esteem, who are attempting to feel better about themselves. The way this is done is you find someone who is stupid.

And you argue with them.

Which is exactly what they have done too. They have found someone who is stupid too.

Right?

But what happens when you don’t argue? When you don’t need to find a stupid person to help you feel better about yourself? When there is no need whatsoever to prove that you are “right”?

An argument is rarely about whatever the subject of the argument is about, as much as it is about both parties need to be “right”. When this is dissolved, then a situation can move into something deeper.

Then you can look at facts, logic, and reason. You can actually talk.

You can hold someone at gunpoint, you can have more money, more power, you can own the world, but you’ll never win an argument.

Nobody ever does.

And if you don’t agree with me, that is totally okay!

IMG_3335Kyle Shiver is a Spiritual Healer and Inspirational Speaker who lives in Savannah Georgia. Book your phone/Skype session with Kyle by calling 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

On Veteran’s Day

Just wanted to take a moment and say “Thank You” to all the veteran’s out there, and to all the families of veteran’s.

There are certain realities in the world that even a “Pro- Peace” guy like myself can’t help but see. When all is said and done and all the cards are out on the table, our country and our soldiers have done a lot of good in the world.

Not only do they sacrifice their lives and their time with their families, not only do they go into war zones witnessing things that you really do not want to witness, just look around the next time there is a natural disaster. Those guys are all over the place helping out and keeping order when needed.

Now more than ever I pray that this country and the people of this country acknowledges and works to help our veterans. The soldiers who are coming home now in droves with PTSD are losing their families, and the suicide rate is at a very alarming figure.

These men serve us, and I pray that we serve them in return by giving them the help that they need.

Thank you. I see you. And I for one am grateful to you for your service.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Universe is Pleased When…

kyle 4I’ve been doing a great deal of journaling lately.

Today, the last sentence was, “God would be pleased if I was pleased.”

It’s as simple as that. All we have to do is to be pleased. All we have to do is develop an “attitude of gratitude.”  All we have to do is to have no worries.

All we have to do is have self-esteem. To have strength and confidence that if we work in accordance with the Universal Laws, we can create life to be the way we want it to be.

We are told in the bible that those that “have”, will have more. While those that “don’t have” will have less.

But it is me who decides if I “have” or if I “have not”.

This is something we have to be really careful with, because we are in charge of our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. Nobody else is.

We have to be very careful of the method we use to judge ourselves with.

Who are we comparing ourselves with? You could compare yourself to Donald Trump, and most likely feel like a loser. Or you might compare yourself to someone who lives in a shack in Haiti and has poor health, little to eat, and sick children. Then you might feel like a winner.

There are a lot of people in the world who have it better than I do. And there are a lot of people in the world who have it worse. (It is a matter of fact, that we in America in general, are better off in terms of material things and comfort than much of the world.)

The thing that I have found to be most helpful, is to compare myself to myself.

Knowing that you can always find someone better or worse off than you, and knowing that you are in charge here, why not just develop your own way of judging yourself?

That is what my spiritual advisor suggested of me, and that is what I have done.

And as we near the end of the year, it is easy to see that I have dropped some things, picked up some other things, shifted focus to be more clear, and continued to head in the direction of my stated intention.

There has been much progress.

So I am making a decision to be pleased today. I invite you to do the same. Let us decide today that we “have” instead of that we “have not”.

It may be that the Universe is pleased when we are pleased, or it may be that the Universe is neutral.

But we are not neutral, we have to go one way or the other.

So let’s be pleased!

kyle_ssi_006Ready to change your life? Tired of hurting? Schedule your phone/Skype session with Kyle by calling 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us 

If you would like to support Kyle and his personal ministry, you can donate to Kyle HERE (These donations are not tax deductible)

Posted in SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nobody But You

It is all just a story that you have made up.

It is the way that you say it is.

You are the one who made all the decisions and choices that you have made. You are the one who decided to see things as you see them. Whatever it is and however it is, you are the one who built it.

The real beauty of this is that it doesn’t have to be this way!

If it is true that your life is your doing, then it stands to reason that you can do something else. 

Right?

The hurdle to jump is one of blame and excuses. When we blame others and produce excuses, we are basically saying that someone else is responsible for our lives.

And this is pure dishonesty. A lie.

Get honest. Take responsibility. Make some different decisions and choices. Write a different story.

You are the only person in the world that can do it!

kyle_ssi_002Kyle Shiver is an inspirational speaker and spiritual healer based in Savannah Georgia. Schedule your phone or Skype session by calling 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us

Support Kyle’s cause by clicking HERE

Posted in Spirituality | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Self Approval is Best

Kyle 3My spiritual advisor says that, “At the end of the day when you look in the mirror, you are the one who has to be happy with what you see.”

He’s trying to teach me that what I think of myself is what really matters. He’s trying to teach me that I really don’t control what other people think, say, or do. I am the one who has to be pleased with me.

In the beginning what I saw was nearly devastating.

The scene was like a Godzilla creature standing over a normal sized guy. Godzilla was stomping and kicking and berating the guy endlessly. The guy was down and obviously not even in the fight.

What was devastating was to realize that I was Godzilla, AND I was the poor guy too.

“You made poor life decisions!”, “You are not smart!” “You are lazy and don’t work hard enough!”, “You don’t care about other people!”, “Nothing ever goes your way and nothing ever will!”… it was an endless tirade.

It really hurt to discover that this was the way I felt about myself.

A person who feels this way about themselves is pretty easy to spot most of the time. Things aren’t going well for them. Not only that, but since they have absolutely no self-approval, they need approval from others, and they need it in the most desperate way.

And it is impossible for others to give it to them.

You have to feel good about yourself. You have to build your own self-esteem. You have to be the one who can look in the mirror and say, “I approve of myself!” and mean it.

The craziest thing in my case was that nobody else felt this way about me. Everyone else loved me and thought the world of me. It was me who stood over me and constantly shouted, “You should be better than you are!”

My spiritual advisor taught me that you need some paper and a pen.

Most of the things that Godzilla said were not true, and what was needed was FACTS. “Am I doing my best?” “Am I taking care of my responsibilities?” “What good things did I do today and what did I get accomplished?”

As soon as I started writing these things down and making a good assessment, it was obvious that Godzilla was a little nuts. It turned out that I was doing my best, trying my hardest. It turned out that most days I did a lot of good things.

The poor guy was nothing like Godzilla was making him out to be.

One day the poor guy suddenly out of nowhere, stood up, produced a rope from his pocket, and threw a lasso around Godzilla’s neck. He gave a mighty tug, which brought Godzilla to the ground where he could look directly into Godzilla’s eyes.

“I love you.” said the poor guy.

kyle_ssi_002 3Kyle Shiver is a spiritual counselor, healer, and inspirational speaker. Make your appointment today by calling 912-495-8520 or e-mail kyle@thespiritcenter.us
If you would like to support Kyle’s works, please feel free to make a donation HERE

Posted in SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Football and A Spiritual Experience

IMG_2797

Sometimes people are really surprised that I am such an avid football fanatic.

You see me sitting in meditation, or in a “spiritual setting”, and so maybe it is hard to imagine me yelling, “Go Dawgs!!!” at the television set. (or better yet at the game) But if you ask me, football season should last year ’round!

Yes yes… football is a physical sport and a violent sport. Yes yes… people get hurt. It is easy for me to understand why some think it odd that I am such a fan, but to me, it doesn’t get much more spiritual than a good football game.

And let me explain,

Discipline. The truly spiritual life is a life that requires great discipline. We watch what we say, what we do, and what we eat. We pray, we meditate, and we read scripture. If you want to see discipline for real, just go spend a couple of days in a monastery. Discipline.

Having played football while growing up, I understand the game. It is like I’m out there on the field. I know every nuance. The smell of the grass, all the brilliant colors, the fans, and at college games the bands… and… these guys devote so much time and so much of their lives for this game.

Me and my dad at the GA/FL game 2013

Me and my dad at the GA/FL game 2013

The constant physical training, the film-studying, the playbook studying, the countless hours spent practicing and honing their skills.

These guys are truly remarkable. And like perhaps a monk living in a monastery, they have devoted their lives to a discipline.

The physicalness, the mental clarity and toughness… all I see is SPIRIT.

Not only that, but football is my only hobby. It’s the only thing, besides spending time with my precious family, that I do that isn’t work. Not that I’m complaining about work, but most people may not imagine that I am usually working. The music, the workshops, the speaking, the writing, the painting, and the scheduling, it all keeps me pretty busy and I love that. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

IMG_2856But…. I am unavailable every year on the day of the Georgia/Florida game. Maybe I’ll see you today in Jacksonville!!!

Posted in Abundance, SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

What the Universe Wants

elephany kilimanjaroThe other day my lovely wife struck up a conversation about places in the world that we would like to visit.

We have a six year old princess daughter, so my first response was to think about places that she would enjoy. Where could we go that we would all enjoy?

We came up with several ideas and options, and then she said, “But where would you go?”

It must be really frustrating for her at times. As a matter of fact, I know that it is. This is simply because I already do what I love all the time.

So I don’t sit around a dream about being other places or doing something else. When everybody wants to go on vacation it can be hard to tear me away. (perhaps I’m always on vacation?)

Just this weekend I did two gigs, played at church, played for a Yoga class, and also did a meditation workshop. Also there is the constant writing every chance I get, and let’s not forget that I have clients, and also am pretty involved in starting a new church.(Haven’t mentioned that here, but will soon enough)

But after just a moment of reflection I told her that I’d go to the Elephant Nature Park in Thailand and volunteer to take care of the elephants there for a while.

Please don’t ask me why the strong attraction to elephants because it beats me. But to go there and do that would be… awesome. It would be just totally out of my reality and beyond anything I’ve ever done.

And I wouldn’t even mind shoveling the poop. Elephants make a lot of poop. Even the little ones.

Maybe one of these days… but something tells me that I’d want to get back to my life after a week or so. Maybe it would be peaceful there and I could really focus on the book?

See? I’m impossible. Who would think about going on vacation and then wonder if it would help get more work done?

It’s because my work isn’t work at all. My work is my love. And it isn’t because I’m lucky either.

It doesn’t have anything to do with luck at all.

What happened was that one day I accepted death. And on that day it was decided that I would’t waste my time doing meaningless things that I had no interest in. So I just quit doing that and starting doing things that I wanted to do.

I am sure that this is what the Universe wants.

Oh, and Heather and I concluded that we are going to take Lily to one of those places where she can swim with dolphins and play with them. That seems to be what she has wanted for years now… we used to watch Youtube video’s, and the general rule of thumb is that the kid has to be seven years old. And… Lily’s seventh birthday is upon us real soon.

I only hope my friend Julia doesn’t get too upset, because she is an activist for dolphins and doesn’t find Sea World particularly cool.

But a man can only do the best he can, and if I can please just one woman… that will be pretty good. No?

 

 

Posted in Kyle's Personal Musings, SPIRIT Topic | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment